did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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