his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
