We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
