As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No subtext here. People are naked.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
