Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
