Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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