Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You were trust falling into bushes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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