before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
