God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
too bad you live with your parents still
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
