Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
