I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
