She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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