Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
