got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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