so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
