you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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