you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Randomize
