wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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