No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
