And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
