i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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