I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
