He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
