How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
