so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
