No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His hands were made for my vagina.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
