I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
