His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
