THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
