And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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