Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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