i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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