Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize