We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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