I wish I could punch you in the face.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
