i don't like sucking hair
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I could fuck to npr.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
