I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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