I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Damn victory sex feels great
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
