What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
