In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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