how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
