Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
