haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
