I CAN MOONWALK!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize