i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
