I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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