if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
