On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
