I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
