be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
