Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
