i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
