hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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