I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
