margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
